Someone wrote this down

I found out my team has a second group chat when someone laughed at a joke that was never said out loud. They plan lunches in there. I know because the whole row stands up at 12:30 like it was choreographed, and no one looks at me. My manager is in the chat. I keep replaying my first months here, looking for the moment I got sorted out. Maybe there wasn't one. I eat at my desk and answer emails so it looks like a choice. Some days I almost believe it is.

What would help: just listening, encouragement